how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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