I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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