I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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