I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
