gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
