Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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