I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We had to coat check the pizza.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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