Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
