Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
