What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Terrible idea I love it
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize