I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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