you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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