Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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