So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
