i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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