how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
