It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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