i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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