I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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