So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
