How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
