Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
