It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
