fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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