i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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