i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
