porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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