Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
