This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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