It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
