Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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