xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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