Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
