What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
