I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
