For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
