I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
