i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
