Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
