i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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