I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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