I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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