The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
PANTIES FOUND
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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