also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
