At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Drunk is a universal language darling
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
