oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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