just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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