How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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