it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Bring me that man meat
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
