Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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