Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize