9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
