dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
