What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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