I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
