So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Is it because I queefed?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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