My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
