Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
a search helicopter?!
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
